I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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