Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
