I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
