Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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