theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
