problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
