He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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