Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
be right there i have to get my cape
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
