apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize