woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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