p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
