I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
