hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
