It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
