it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
