..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
