i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
