OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
