ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
