Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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