Whod you bang
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize