Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
