Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
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You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
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You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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