erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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