I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
