everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
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your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
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my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
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