I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize