I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
