Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
