The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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