just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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