We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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