she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
