I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
