with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
My vagina is very pro this idea
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