I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
