I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
