Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize