I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
