I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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