I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
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