God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
