"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
No more Irish car bombs ever.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I wear drunk well.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
