dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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