Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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