I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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