now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
