I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
