Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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