I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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