got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize