Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
