So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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