we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
