Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
