So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
its not stalking. its research.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize
