I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
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