Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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