At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
