they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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