he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize