You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
