I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
