Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Randomize
