I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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