walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
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